If we want to dwindle on time, I would have to say that the last 6 months of my life have moved at lightning speed as far as personal growth goes. My entire outlook on life, my own and what is going on around me, has shifted completely. I was reaching, searching, yearning for answers before, wanting someone to tell me what was going to happen and how. Now, I am calm, I trust, and I feel grounded in myself, my purpose, and my truth. I don't have the answers, and I am ok with that. I trust in my offerings, in my spirit, and in the path. Once I let go, the not knowing became comfort, it became knowing. I am now being guided and shown each step, and that is wonderful with me.
There has been this mass amount of support, love, insight, and guidance that has come into my life by way of female energy, spirit, information, books, workshops, and so much more. It has been an interesting process for me, and very new, to start making investments in myself and my growth. I have found that the more I invest financially, the more I respect and love myself. The financial fear is able to diminish at the same time.
There is this loose little plan that feels so immense and correct. There is this fiery dream screaming out of my insides. I am patient, I know that it will unfold perfectly. I trust again. I find calm. I ground.
Oh yes, sometimes I float right on out of this peaceful place once again and hover up above my body, oblivious to the progress. That's when I stub my toe and spill my drink. That's when I realize I have zoned out of reality again, and I gently place a hand on my heart and a hand on my belly and breathe deep and slow, loving myself up. That's when I remember what I am.
That's when I remember what I am......
I am a being of the stars. I am here to love and be loved. That is what I feel. That is all that I am interested in. Just love.
I feel as though something profound is literally just about to shoot out of my vagina and straight into the Earth. I feel pregnant and ready to release a huge growth inside of me. I am ready to heal from what has been held onto. Ready to see and release that which I thought I needed in order to survive.
I have held so tightly onto trauma, thinking perhaps I needed it so that I would remember the lesson. In holding on, I have put that memory in the dark closet of my womb and not allowed it to breathe fresh air. I have not seen this trauma for the lesson that all of it has given me. I have held onto it because I thought I NEEDED it, and forgotten to use it for it's purpose. HEALING. Healing. This trauma, this pain, this sense of lack of love, this sexual "abuse", all of the floating outside of my body. It was all depp purpose. Deep learning. Deep growth.
It's time to see it for what it was. To SEE it. To HEAL it. To RELEASE it. To go on.
My body is crying for escape. It is showing me the signs. It is writhing and burning for my soul to push this forward, for my conscious mind to take charge, and for my heart to heal.
This learning is my truth. It is my offering. It is my glow. Not my darkness. It is my light.