If we want to dwindle on time, I would have to say that the last 6 months of my life have moved at lightning speed as far as personal growth goes. My entire outlook on life, my own and what is going on around me, has shifted completely. I was reaching, searching, yearning for answers before, wanting someone to tell me what was going to happen and how. Now, I am calm, I trust, and I feel grounded in myself, my purpose, and my truth. I don't have the answers, and I am ok with that. I trust in my offerings, in my spirit, and in the path. Once I let go, the not knowing became comfort, it became knowing. I am now being guided and shown each step, and that is wonderful with me.
There has been this mass amount of support, love, insight, and guidance that has come into my life by way of female energy, spirit, information, books, workshops, and so much more. It has been an interesting process for me, and very new, to start making investments in myself and my growth. I have found that the more I invest financially, the more I respect and love myself. The financial fear is able to diminish at the same time.
There is this loose little plan that feels so immense and correct. There is this fiery dream screaming out of my insides. I am patient, I know that it will unfold perfectly. I trust again. I find calm. I ground.
Oh yes, sometimes I float right on out of this peaceful place once again and hover up above my body, oblivious to the progress. That's when I stub my toe and spill my drink. That's when I realize I have zoned out of reality again, and I gently place a hand on my heart and a hand on my belly and breathe deep and slow, loving myself up. That's when I remember what I am.
That's when I remember what I am......
I am a being of the stars. I am here to love and be loved. That is what I feel. That is all that I am interested in. Just love.
I feel as though something profound is literally just about to shoot out of my vagina and straight into the Earth. I feel pregnant and ready to release a huge growth inside of me. I am ready to heal from what has been held onto. Ready to see and release that which I thought I needed in order to survive.
I have held so tightly onto trauma, thinking perhaps I needed it so that I would remember the lesson. In holding on, I have put that memory in the dark closet of my womb and not allowed it to breathe fresh air. I have not seen this trauma for the lesson that all of it has given me. I have held onto it because I thought I NEEDED it, and forgotten to use it for it's purpose. HEALING. Healing. This trauma, this pain, this sense of lack of love, this sexual "abuse", all of the floating outside of my body. It was all depp purpose. Deep learning. Deep growth.
It's time to see it for what it was. To SEE it. To HEAL it. To RELEASE it. To go on.
My body is crying for escape. It is showing me the signs. It is writhing and burning for my soul to push this forward, for my conscious mind to take charge, and for my heart to heal.
This learning is my truth. It is my offering. It is my glow. Not my darkness. It is my light.
Releasing fears has been my main focus over the past few months, and little by little they are being let go of. An intense realization came over me that for as long as I continue to nurture and hold onto the fears that I have, I will not blossom into the soul that I am. Our fears are a wonderful thing, when they need to be, but when the time comes to let them go, we must do so - graciously and willingly. Until we are able to release a fear, such as the fear that when we take a step, there will be nothing waiting to support us, we will stay in the same place, waiting and wavering, and never evolving.
In order to release a fear, especially one that is deep rooted and has been with us for a long time, we must allow it to come into the light, we must see it, acknowledge it, and feel it. A fear is something that we have created, based on our belief system, that is seemingly keeping us safe. While it may be keeping us safe, that safety is what will hold us back from knowing our truth and acting on it. Those fears are what will suppress our soul's needs, desires, and purpose, and will keep it as that soft voice in the back of our conscious that is trying to become heard. That voice is always there, and until we shed those layers of disbelief in ourselves and holding back, we may not find our purpose and begin to live as fully expressed women and human beings.
There are a few steps that we can begin to implement into our lives to loosen up those deep rooted fears and emotions and slowly start to live a more expressed and connected life ~
First, ask yourself what one of your dreams is right now. It could be as simple as going to a yoga or dance class once a week, and as massive as starting a business. Then go ahead and ask yourself what it is that is stopping you from doing this. Some of those answers could be that you are not confident in your body, you have had an experience in the past that has instilled a fear in you, or you might even be afraid that you will be so successful that everything in your life will shift and change.
Next you can sit with those feelings - close your eyes, breathe deeply into your belly, and find the place in your body where the emotion is sitting. Move into that place in your body, maybe even giving the feeling a shape and colour, a description, and allowing it to be seen. In seeing that feeling, you are shining light on it and bringing into your reality, which gives you the opportunity to move through it and have the realization that it is an illusion that you have created for protection (or whatever reason you or your ego saw necessary at the time). Tune into your body here, really connecting with her and her power and intuition.
* You can imagine yourself grounded into your seat, with roots growing from your root chakra all the way into mother earth, reaching as far as her core. Wiggle in your seat a little, taking deep belly breaths and letting them out with a hahhhhhhh. Next move up to your heart, breathing into your chest, and imagining your heart opening and glowing. This should allow you to come into your body and get out of your head, assisting you in seeing things for what they are and connecting to your body and the feelings that are stored there.
Do this with a journal and pen by your side so that you can write down what came up during the exercise/meditation. You may find that you discovered something that you didn't realize before, allowing you to do some work there and further ground into your body.
Releasing deep rooted fears is a process, and takes time, patience, and a soft mind and gentleness with yourself. Even when you have shone light on them, you may often find your well trained mind reverting to the thought patterns that you have been accustomed to. Be gentle with yourself and find a peace in the work that you are doing. The more awareness that you have, the closer you are to letting things go and reconstructing the way that you see your reality.
I would love to hear how this process unfolds for you! Feel free to leave comments below or contact me directly. I would love to hear from you! SO much love.